Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
All the doctor said was why
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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