I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
