I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
