Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
