apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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