I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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