She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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