Can i not drive my cunt home
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
