I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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