It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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