I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
