Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
