You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
