Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
