How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
