i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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