No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
