Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
