Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
