so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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