the new term for farting is butt boxing.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
