ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
