rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
