if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
