i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
