I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
