Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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