And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
