You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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