im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
