So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
