I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Actions speak louder than pants.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
