i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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