An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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