ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
