I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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