Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
