She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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