I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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