idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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