with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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