i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
