Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
