In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
