Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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