Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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