That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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