im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
