"it" just moved
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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