No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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